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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Starter Pack: Phase I, Roof Leak, DSCR Yoga

Expectation: 30-day close, clean Phase I, 6.25% cap, estoppels by Friday Reality: Phase I flags a REC by a 90s dry cleaner, roof is vintage, CAM math is interpretive 🧮 Lender: please upload SNDAs, updated rent roll, 3 years CAM recs, and proof the tenant exists Me at 3:02am: re-underwriting NOI after minor HVAC death, whispering DSCR affirmations šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

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