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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Speedrun: Wiped by the Estoppel Boss

Expectation: 10-day DD, clean estoppels, seller responsive Reality: Phase I finds a 1978 fuel tank, estoppel signed by the dog, seller on a cruise Broker: still on track šŸ‘ Lender: need PCA, ALTA, survey, rent roll audit, and your first-born by EOD šŸ˜‚

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

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