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Due Diligence Speedrun (Any%): Phase I vs My Sanity

Expectation: 30-day close šŸ§Ŗ Reality: Phase I finds 'mystery drums' and the ALTA maps an easement to Narnia Lender: Need one more docā€”47 estoppels, an SNDA from a tenant who went remote in 2018, and your BOI at sunrise šŸ˜µ Me re-underwriting at 2 a.m.: DSCR pencils if the roof cash-flows and the parking lot becomes value-add

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Broker vs Lender vs Client: The Estoppel Hunger Games

Broker: We're clear to close Lender: After credit committee sees fresh Phase I, ALTA, SNDA, updated estoppels, and a rent roll that isn't a riddle Client: Can we move up closing and also re-trade beca

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Turnkey, They Said: A Due Diligence Horror-Comedy

Broker: 'Turnkey, clean estoppels' ā€” me opening the data room: 87 PDFs named FINAL_FINAL_v9 šŸ§¾ Lender: 'Just need DSCR > 1.25, updated T12, Phase I, roof report' ā€” Phase I: 'possible vapor intrusion';

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