Due Diligence Says Clean, Surveyor Brings a Snorkel

Broker: Clean deal, minimal hair Due diligence: Phase I plume, roof older than my Excel model, T-12 vs rent roll = multiverse, 0/17 estoppels returned 😵‍💫 Lender: Just need updated ALTA, PCA, SNDA, and proof the parking lot isn't a wetland Client: Can we close Friday? Me: Sure, if time travel was in the PSA Expectation: 6.5% cap; Reality: cap trap and a raccoon in Unit 104 demanding TI 🦝