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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Jenga: Pull One More Report, I Dare You

Aug 30
1 min read

Expectation: 30-day DD, easy estoppels Reality: Phase I whispers 'vintage dry cleaner energy' Lender: Need one doc Also Lender: ALTA+NSPS, sewer cam, roof core, and SNDAs from tenants who ghosted Seller: 'As-is' Title: Surprise utility easement slicing the lobby like sashimi 🦝

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Due Diligence Dungeon: Where LOIs Go To Die

Expectation: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, estoppels by Friday Reality: Phase I says recognized environmental conditions and title reveals a 1904 railroad easement 🚂 Broker: It’s minor Lender: Need seism

 
 
 

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