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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Jenga: One More Doc and It All Falls

Broker: We close Friday, easy ALTA says the building is spooning the setback; Title found a 1972 'future monorail' easement Phase I: 'REC' = surprise tank party šŸŽˆ Me at 1:57 AM: estoppels missing, roof 'new' means new leaks, Excel just turned cap rate into a jump scare 😵

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

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