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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Diet: Lost 5lbs Chasing Estoppels

Broker: We close Friday Lender: Cool, just need updated SNDA, 3 estoppels, and a Phase I that predicts the future Owner: Tenants will sign... after their lawyer returns from OOO until fiscal year 2099 šŸ™ƒ Reality: Friday = Q3 + TI overage + roof 'immediately failing' + CAM math that defies Excel 🧮

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Appraisal Says 'As-Is', My Model Says 'As-If'

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender IC at 4:59pm: need Phase II, SNDA, estoppels, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: Cap rate +50 bps because ā€œtenant mix feels crunchyā€ Me: adding Other Incom

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