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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR Olympics: Broker Says 1.30, Lender Brings a Microscope

Broker: It’s a clean 1.30 DSCR, seller covers CAM, easy close Lender: After ‘normalized’ vacancy, true taxes, roof reserve… 1.09 Appraiser: Best comp is a llama farm with a drive-thru, still ‘market’ Me: Rebuilding the T-12, hunting SNDAs, smiling at the landlord like it’s fine 🧮😬

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

 
 
 

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