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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR 1.30 at OM, 1.18 at Committee, #REF! by EOD

Jul 3

1 min read

Expectation (OM): 5% vacancy, taxes frozen, DSCR 1.30 Reality (UW): county full-value taxes, insurance ‘Cat 12’—DSCR 1.18; lender: “neat, 55% LTV?” Me in Excel: nudge cap rate 10 bps → circular ref, IRR to Mars, workbook whispers #REF! 🧮 Client: “Close Friday?” Me: “Absolutely—right after IC, appraisal, estoppels, and a small miracle” 😵‍💫

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