top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR 1.25? Cool—Now Do It Without Income

Broker: Stabilized at 95%! Me: Awesome—send rent roll. Rent Roll: 17 suites; 9 M2M; 3 free rent; 1 tenant = owners dog-wash LLC; CAM varies. Lender: DSCR 1.25; also Lender: exclude 40% income, add new roof/parking lot/asteroid reserves 😂 Title at closing: surprise 1973 gasoline easement + bowling alley covenant; me re-trading myself 😵‍💫

Recent Posts

See All
Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? 🧮😵‍💫

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page