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Day 59 of a 60-Day Close: The SNDA Boss Fight

Me underwriting: 7.25% cap, 6-month stabilize, easy value-add - Excel purrs Appraisal: 6.0% if the anchor sneezes; also insurance tripled since Tuesday Lender: need updated T-12 to match rent roll, roof report, ALTA, Phase I addendum, and SNDAs from tenants who don't read emails - by EOD šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Seller @ 4:58pm: "BTW there's a co-tenancy nuke if the nail salon moves." Me: pro forma spontaneously combusts šŸ”„

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When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

Broker: LOI signed, easy close Lender: Need T-12, rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, ALTA survey, and your blood type Appraiser: Using a 2013 Kmart comp; value says your cap rate is a bedtime story

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? šŸ§®šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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