ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

CTC vs Reality: When IC Says 'Maybe' and Argus Says 'No'

Oct 13

1 min read

Broker: “CTC.” Lender: “Need SNDAs from the subtenant’s subtenant and a Phase I re-opinion.” Appraiser: “Updated cap rate is 8.0% because… vibes.” Me at 2:37 AM: Argus crashed, Excel circular ref, promote now paying in exposure 😂

Recent Posts

See All

Broker vs Lender vs Client: Cap Rate Hunger Games

Broker: LOI signed, easy close in 30 days Lender: Need T-12, T-3, updated rent roll, estoppels, SNDAs, ALTA, and a fresh DNA swab Client: Cap moved 25 bps at lunch—retrade? Me: Rebuilding the 18-tab m

When the Cap Rate Says 6 But the Roof Says 1988

Broker: It's a light value-add Lender: So... $700k deferred capex, 65% occupancy, roofs from 1988? Client: If I Venmo the EMD, can we close Friday? 👀 Me at 2am in Excel: If 'roof leak' is 'tenant ame

When the T-12 Says “Maybe”: Broker vs Lender vs Reality

Broker: LOI signed, vibes immaculate Lender: Need updated T-12, Phase I, SNDA, estoppels, and the roof’s birth certificate 🧮 Appraiser: We used a comp from a 1997 bowling alley two counties over Clie

The CRE Humor Jokes

Comments