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The CRE Humor Jokes

CRE Due Diligence: Expectation vs Who Put This Tank Here?

Client: We close Friday? Me (broker): After title, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, roof report, CAM audit, and a sacrificial spreadsheet Lender: Need rent roll notarized, zoning comfort, and an environmental letter from the Jurassic Seller: Also… minor detail: underground storage tank waved 👋 Me at 1:02 AM: Re-underwriting like it’s cardio 😵‍💫

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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