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The CRE Humor Jokes

Clear to Close* (*until the appraisal hits)

Broker: Clear to close Friday Lender: Recalced DSCR at 1.23 after market volatility šŸ“‰ Appraiser: Bumped cap rate 50 bps because Starbucks is 0.3 miles farther Me: Re-trading the rent roll and cuddling my Excel error column like a therapy dog šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

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