top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rates Catfish, DSCR Ghosts: Landlord Refi Speedrun

Broker: We can refi at 65% LTV, easy Lender IC: “Define easy” — need 3 years CAM recs, SNDA, estoppels, and your soul Appraiser: Calls it C+ market because Starbucks is 0.3 miles too far Owner/Landlord me: Rebuilds Excel for the 8th time, DSCR still says “bestie, no” 🤡

Recent Posts

See All
NNN 'Easy Deal' Speedrun: Broker vs Lender vs Client

Broker: It’s a vanilla NNN, clean Phase I, we coast to close Lender: Need 12 months trailing, 3 estoppels, roof warranty from 1997, and the tenant’s favorite cereal Client: Can we close Friday if we s

 
 
 
When DSCR Won’t Commit But My Coffee Will

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender: Send updated T-12, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1978 Me opening Excel: why does CAM math have 19 tabs and a hidden sorcery sheet ☠️ DSCR

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page