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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Dreams vs DSCR Reality

Owner: It’s a 5-cap trophy, zero deferred maintenance Lender: At 8% all-in we need 1.35x DSCR and a personal guarantee Appraiser: NOI haircut for market reality and that missing estoppel Me at 2:14am in Excel: if CAM becomes revenue and TI becomes a rumor, it pencils 😂🤡

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