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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Catfish: When 'Pro Forma' Uses a Beauty Filter

ricklahkar
May 16
1 min read

Expectation: 6.25% cap, turnkey Reality: CAM 'TBD', roof 'historic', DSCR doing limbo at 1.15x Lender: Underwrite at SOFR+whiplash and add a meteor vacancy test Me: Fighting circular refs in a 32-tab model like it's Mortal Excel 🧮😵‍💫

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DSCR Olympics: Broker Says 1.30, Lender Brings a Microscope

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When DSCR Won’t Commit But My Coffee Will

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender: Send updated T-12, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1978 Me opening Excel: why does CAM math have 19 tabs and a hidden sorcery sheet ☠️ DSCR

The CRE Humor Jokes

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