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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Catfish vs Appraisal Reality

Expectation: 6 cap, 30-day close, smooth lender Reality: appraiser finds 'functional obsolescence' in my optimism Lender: send T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, and your weekend Me: Proforma_v38_FINAL-final.xlsx while client says can we close Friday? šŸ˜…

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

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