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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Catfish: The NNN Listing vs Reality

Owner: It’s a 6-cap NNN, zero landlord responsibilities Me opening the lease: Roof = Landlord, Parking = Landlord, HVAC = Me crying Lender: Need rent roll, T-12, COI, and proof the tenant isn’t a ghost 👻 Tenant on estoppel: Our option rent is half because my cousin underwrote it 📉

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? 🧮😵‍💫

 
 
 

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