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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Reality: The Estoppel Hunger Games

Broker: LOI signed, we're cruising to close šŸ›©ļø Lender: need updated rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, and the tenant's 3rd grade report card Owner: no estoppels-but here's a 2011 flyer and a fax number Me in Excel: proforma says 7.0% cap, Actuals say #REF!, cash flow rage-quitting šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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PSA Says As-Is, Roof Says As-If

Client: It's turnkey Roof: Turns key... into indoor waterfall Lender: Need updated rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, and proof the parking lot is real Me underwriting at 2 a.m.: If I add back hope and duct

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Broker vs Lender vs Appraiser: The DSCR Hunger Games

Broker: DSCR pencils at 1.35 easy Lender: After one tiny stress test it's 1.19 and your LTV is vibes Client: Can we close Friday? Appraiser: Comped your Class A to a llama barn 40 miles away šŸ“‰ Me at

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