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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Appraiser: 45-Day Close Speedrun

Sep 30
1 min read

Broker: It’s a stabilized 6-cap, light value-add Lender: Cool—just need environmental, PCA, estoppels, SNDA, T-12 by noon, and time-travel docs Appraiser: Best comp is a goat farm with a Starbucks 42 miles away Me: Excel says 17.8% IRR; GC says “the roof is vibes only” 🫠

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