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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker says it's clean; Due Diligence says hold my Phase I

Aug 11
1 min read

Me: Offer accepted, 30-day close, vibes immaculate đŸ„‚ Phase I: 1994 dry cleaner next door + mystery UST + 'recommend Phase II' ALTA survey: Congrats, your parking is actually the neighbor’s easement Lender: Perfect—now send estoppels, SNDAs, PCA, roof cert, and three years of CAM sorcery 😅

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Expectation: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, estoppels by Friday Reality: Phase I says recognized environmental conditions and title reveals a 1904 railroad easement 🚂 Broker: It’s minor Lender: Need seism

 
 
 

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