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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Math vs Appraiser Math: The DSCR Hunger Games

Broker: Rents surging, 6-cap, flawless lease-up—close in 30 days Lender: Upload v43 of T-12, then we’ll haircut NOI like it’s Black Friday Appraiser: Pulled comps from 2017; value equals one churro and a high-five Me: My model: Olympic gold; Their DSCR: tripped at warm-ups 😂🥲

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 
When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

 
 
 

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