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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker: It’s Clean; Lender: It’s a Crime Scene

1 day ago

1 min read

Broker: 6-cap NNN, turnkey Lender: DSCR pencils… if the county forgets taxes and the roof becomes immortal Client: Close Friday, zero down, seller covers TI/LC, free rent, and a forklift 🚜 Me: Add one row to Argus/Excel—IRR disappears; rent roll: 'TBD LLC (MTM since 2014)'; lender: need Phase I, ALTA, and your blood type by noon

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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