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Broker: 6 Cap. Appraiser: Best I Can Do Is Trauma.

Broker: It's a 6 cap... if you ignore reassessed taxes, reserves, and roof life Lender: Send T-12, T-24, rent roll, estoppels, Phase I, and 'one last model tweak' 📉 Appraiser: Your 'parking income' is four cones; NOI now says 3.9 cap, good luck City: Surprise fire-sprinkler upgrade $250k; seller: firm on price Me in Excel tab 28: DSCR 1.34; LP: can we stress to 1.50 and still hit 18% IRR? 🤡

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

 
 
 
When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

Broker: LOI signed, easy close Lender: Need T-12, rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, ALTA survey, and your blood type Appraiser: Using a 2013 Kmart comp; value says your cap rate is a bedtime story

 
 
 

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