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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Says 'Market Value'—From a Parallel Universe

Broker: NOI is stabilized Lender: Cool, need 12 months P&L, 3rd-party rent roll, and your childhood diary Appraiser: Value supported… if cap rates time-travel to 2015 Me reopening Excel at 1:03 AM: please, just one basis point 🤡

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 
When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

 
 
 

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