top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Says $210/SF; My Term Sheet Thinks It’s 2019

Broker brain: Value supported by 3 comps at $325/SF, T-12 clean, DSCR 1.30 Appraiser: Two comps are from 2017 and one’s a funeral home; concluded $210/SF Lender: Proceeds reduced 30%. Also need an estoppel from the vending machine 🙃 Me at 2:03 AM in Excel: If Starbucks signs a 15-year before close, cap rate drops to 4.75 and math forgives me ☕️

Recent Posts

See All
Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 
When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page