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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Says 2015 Pricing, Lender Says 'DSCR Go Brrr'

Expectation: 6% cap, 70% LTV, DSCR 1.35, Friday close Appraiser: pulled comps from the Bronze Age, value -9% šŸ“‰ Lender: 'DSCR is 1.18, ever heard of credit committee?' Me: renaming Final_FINAL_v12.xlsx at 2am while the rent roll ages in dog years šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

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