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The CRE Humor Jokes

30-Day Close Starter Pack vs The Mystery Drum

Broker: 30-day close, easy win Lender: Need DSCR 1.35, seismic, and estoppels signed in 2003? Owner: “My building comps to an NFT at a 4 cap.” Me in Excel at 1:59am: NOI vs TIs vs Free Rent—cap rate says “new phone who dis” 😂

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When DSCR Won’t Commit But My Coffee Will

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender: Send updated T-12, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1978 Me opening Excel: why does CAM math have 19 tabs and a hidden sorcery sheet ☠️ DSCR

 
 
 

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