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The CRE Humor Jokes

30-Day Close Starter Pack vs The Mystery Drum

Broker: 30-day close, easy win Lender: Need DSCR 1.35, seismic, and estoppels signed in 2003? Owner: “My building comps to an NFT at a 4 cap.” Me in Excel at 1:59am: NOI vs TIs vs Free Rent—cap rate says “new phone who dis” 😂

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

 
 
 

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