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The CRE Humor Jokes

30-Day Close? Lender: Hold My DSCR

Sep 8
1 min read

Broker: It’s a clean 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, tenants happy Lender: Send T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and your last three pro formas Appraiser: Calling it “special use” because the parking stripes feel artisanal Owner/Landlord: My 30-day close just speedran into 90 with DSCR stress tests and CAM autopsies 😵‍💫

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